Screwed.edu
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
