I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's blow job season.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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