we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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