um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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