Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
