Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize