I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
