Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
