it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
