The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
