Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize