I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
