Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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