and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
