Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I bet he comes in French.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My vagina just recognized that song.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize