I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
