Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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