ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
