You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize