i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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