Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
