haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize
