stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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