Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
