Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
