8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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