I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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