The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
