white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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