so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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