hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
