Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Alive.
So much puke
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
