Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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