I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
