Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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