I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
