She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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