I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
