maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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