At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
