can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize