More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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