Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
