i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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