on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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