Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
