Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
