I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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