the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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