This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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