Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
