Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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