It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
