Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
