As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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