OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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