these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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