i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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