I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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