Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
