I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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